Category: Blog

What role does confidence play in our daily lives? As students of all ages head back to school, confidence can be viewed in how they carry themselves on the first day or simply the ability to be positive while embarking on a new experience. In golf, confidence builds as a player improves their skill sets and abilities through planned practice. At The First Tee we look to create a level of confidence with our participants that correlates to life at home, in the class room, with friends or at the golf course. As well as creating answers on how we develop confidence. When we ask a group of participants to give us examples of confidence the first thirty seconds is typically met with a blank stare and sometimes simply, what do you mean?!?! Eventually examples begin to come such as, how you feel when you go play in a basketball game or not being nervous for a big test. Through reasoning we are able to determine as a group that these examples of confidence came about because of practice. Not general practice but very precise practice. Studying for a test by focusing in on particular areas of that subject or attending basketball practice and concentrating on current weaknesses like the lay up or free throw. We are then able to connect these conclusions to how we can gain confidence in golf. See, next week our participants in PLAYer programs will have the opportunity to ‘tee it up’ on the course. For many this will be their first experience playing on a golf course, having only seen the practice facility while at The First Tee, to this point, and never held a golf club before that. We want their first experience to be as positive as possible and if they can head to the first tee with confidence, that self-assurance will help carry them through this new experience. So, how do we help a participant acquire confidence in golf? Through very specific practice. This week we chose to focus in on distance control with putting and distance-direction control with pitching through two fun games. Using a game called 21, participants worked on their distance control while trying to accumulate 21 points, without going over, faster than their opponent. To be able to intentionally hit putts three different distances while stopping the ball in zones, the participant has gained confidence. Next they took the tic-tac-toe board module to pitching and focused on attaining three-in-a-row by stopping the ball in the appropriate square. Sometimes even having to block their opponents intended row. A process that requires awareness of both distance control and accuracy in direction. Again the participant has gained confidence in their abilities. For the last activity of the day, participants headed to the driving range where they practiced hitting the ball off a tee. But, not just anywhere, to a specific target. A learning curve for new golfers, though you can go to the driving range and ‘hit away’, once you are on the course the game becomes target focused. Therefore, we encouraged participants to zero in on a target like they would standing on the first tee next week. At the end of our program participants were excited about their successes of the day and took away a greater understanding of the correlation between confidence and where it comes from. Plus, they were pumped to come back and conquer a new experience on the first tee, next week. Here is to a week of preparedness and confidence in your endeavors!

This week at The First Tee our PLAYer participants learned about Honesty; one of the Nine Core Values integrated into our weekly curriculum lesson plans.  The First Tee defines Honesty as the quality or state of being truthful; not deceptive. Golf is unique from other sports in that players regularly call penalties on themselves and report their own score. Only at the highest level of competition – major championships like The Open Championship – is there a rules official nearby or walking with every group. In other sports such as football, basketball and baseball a referee or umpire oversees the entire competition from start to finish, calling the rules and implementing penalties. Flashback to the PGA TOUR’s 2010 Heritage Classic played in Harbor Town, SC. Brian Davis was in a playoff with Jim Furyk to determine the Champion. Brian had hit his second shot in the hazard left of the green and chose to play the shot from the sandy beach front. The rules of golf state that loose impediment’s in the hazard my not be moved prior to hitting the shot or during the back swing.  To explain the difference, living growing items such as rooted grass can be brushed in the back swing but items such as sand or loose sticks may not be touched on the back swing. Though it was not visible to the spectator, Brian realized upon taking his shot that he may have clipped a reed behind the ball. Before hitting his next shot, Brian consulted with a rules official. Had the reed been attached to the ground he was ok but in this case it was not. The rules official tugged on the reed and it came out. A two-stroke penalty was assessed for hitting a loose impediment and Brian lost in the playoff. At the following week’s PGA TOUR event Brian was asked if he ever considered not calling the penalty on himself. He replied by saying, “That never crossed my mind. I’d broken a rule that’s in the rule book for a reason. I wouldn’t’ have been able to live with myself. If I had won in doubt? I don’t think I could ever walk through a clubhouse without feeling ill. There’s no worse black mark on a player than ‘cheater.’” At The First Tee we look to teach participants Honesty through hands on activities. Games that require them to implement Honesty by tallying their own score, determining if their ball stayed within the boundaries of the course and learning what it means to be accessed a penalty stroke. Beginning as early as the great amateur Bobby Jones at the 1925 US Open, to today, there have been several examples of rules violations where a player called a penalty on themselves. Many penalties that may cost a player special exemptions into elite events or millions of dollars in earnings or sponsorship contracts. After losing to Jim Furyk at the Heritage, Brian Davis summed up his thoughts on the rules by saying, “Honoring the rules is taught at a young age in golf. The game is full of rules, including the way you are supposed to dress and behave. To be truthful, I don’t know every rule and some rules change so it’s a challenge to keep up. I’m not perfect, but I can sleep at night knowing I am honest.”

Growing up it seemed as if every week a local organization or church group was putting on a pre-platted pick-up dinner event serving the ‘best’ barbeque, spaghetti or fried chicken the south has ‘ever’ tasted. And on occasion, they even did a pancake breakfast!

Many times our family would succumb to advertising and participate in that week’s event. It was a feel good experience, knowing our dollars were going to a good cause, and saved my mom from a night of cooking.

These days the weekly event has turned into a tour of golf outings benefiting organizations of various shapes and sizes, each with their own spin on how to deliver the special day. But hey, why not? We do live at the ‘home of golf’, don’t we?

The First Tee of the Sandhills marquee event for the last 12 years has been an annual golf tournament.  With the generous support of four golf brands, Country Club of North Carolina, Forest Creek Golf Club, Pine Needles & Mid Pines Resort, and Pinehurst Resort, participants in the event are able to take a ‘tour’ of our areas elite courses which participate in an ‘every fourth year’ rotation.

On June 16, The Country Club of North Carolina played host to the 2015 event. A special venue with impeccable service and first class staff. It was a wonderful treat to spend a day at their immaculate facility.

The goal for the day was to raise as many dollars as possible to invest back into our youth programs, while giving the event participants a first class, special experience.

144 golf enthusiasts ranging from tour professionals to once-a-year amateurs came out on the ‘hottest’ June 16 on record, per Greg Fishel, to show their support for our mission, for where we have come and for our vision for the future.

Because of the tremendous support by many we were able to host our most successful event to date!

To provide an analogy, the funds raised could cover the implementation of 16 new National School Programs in area Elementary Schools, could provide program scholarships to over 400 participants with financial need, or could cover the expense to send 50 volunteers to national training.

What an impact we can make!

This impact would not have been possible without the support of our Title Sponsor, CADDIEMASTER, our Core Value and Healthy Habit Sponsors as well as The First Tee of the Sandhills volunteers, participants and their parents that gave of their time selflessly before, during and after the event.

The first half of 2015 has been very successful; from our program participants receiving national recognition, to new volunteers joining our family and new golf facilities opening their doors to our programs.

Though, our traction towards long range goals doesn’t end. Our desire to introduce more and more young people and their families to The First Tee of the Sandhills continues. Our Outreach to youth through partner agencies escalates. And the need to recruit new volunteers and coaches to join our family while adding new facility locations to stretch our current capacity boundaries grows.

We are excited to see where the second half of 2015 will take us and look forward to having you join us on the ride by continuing to invest your time, talents and resources in our mission. And, if you’ve got your 2016 calendar ready to go, save the date for our 2016 Open at Forest Creek Golf Club on Monday, June 13!

Have you seen the commercial where an African American man is seen doing an enthusiastic cheer routine on the sidewalk in front of his urban apartment with his sixth grade daughter, dressed in her cheer uniform? It’s a beautiful piece that fatherhood.gov put together a few years ago, in time for Father’s Day. Not only to honor fathers but to encourage and inspire their responsibilities. I never had the coordination or frame to be a cheerleader, ballerina, tap dancer or anything in between. Had the video been of my father and me, it would have taken place on the pitcher’s mound at the softball field, in front of the goal at the soccer field or by the cup on the putting green. The first dozen times I saw the commercial my eyes filled with tears. The tears came from various emotions. Those of sadness for children that don’t have the scripted relationship portrayed in the commercial, happiness for the relationship I look forward to seeing my husband and daughter form, and hope for the opportunity to facilitate future bonds between participants of The First Tee and our adults mentors. The saying that it ‘takes a village to raise a child’ is truer than true. Though I grew up in a home with loving, caring and supportive parents and grandparents, the need for additional support didn’t end there. My parents looked to and entrusted my growth and development in the hands of numerous male mentors. From our youth pastor at First Baptist Church, to the softball pitching coach that would meet me on Saturday mornings for extra practice, or the golf course owner who took me under his wing, encouraged and helped me with my game, as if I was his own. Not only did my parents trust these individuals with their daughter’s time but they knew that these mentors would hold me equally accountable for my actions; right or wrong. Today, I am able to enjoy the commercial of the father and daughter practicing their cheer routine with a smile and giggles. Not because I am raw with emotions from watching, but because I can reflect on similar bonds I see developing weekly at The First Tee of the Sandhills. Positive male figures spending 75 – 90 minutes with children young and old from the community they live in. Shining a positive light on the participant’s emotions of the day and encouraging them to keep their chin up, follow the rules and keep after it. What’s even more special to see is the reaction on a participant’s face when a volunteer they haven’t seen in a few weeks is helping at programming. Now, that’s a special image you want to bottle up and take with you. Danny Thomas, Founder of St. Jude, paints a perfect image when he said, “No man stands so tall as when he stoops to help a child.” This Father’s Day, I encourage you to look through your personal calendar and consider penciling in a few hours every few weeks to join us at The First Tee of the Sandhills and become part of the ‘village’ of individuals it takes to raise a child. A special Happy Father’s Day to my father, father in law, and husband. Thank you for the men you are in my life and our children’s.

As the sun sets on another school year and parents look toward what summer will bring, I receive many inquiries about The First Tee that usually include two questions. Why The First Tee? What makes you different? To be fair, before answering these questions I must first reflect on my past. The First Tee was established in 1997 when I was the age of 16. By this time, I was preparing for college visits and envisioning my “future,” which didn’t take me much past the age of 22. Five years prior I was the child whose parents were in constant preparation seeking out a “things to do” list for their extravert of a daughter. I’ll never forget those summer days being dropped off at Quail Ridge Golf Course with my golf clubs, a bathing suit, water bottle and lunch box. I would be on the property from 8 a.m. until 5 p.m. and knew what the expectations were if I was spending the day at the golf course. It was to respect the staff, find ways to help, hold the door and no yelling or running. In those eight hours I could walk 27-to-36 holes, hit balls on the range, play two or three games of up and down with a friend and spend time at the pool with my girlfriends that had no interest in golf. Other weeks I remember attending junior golf camps to pass the time or even “help” at a camp when I began excelling out of the group. Fast forward to today, when those two initial questions were asked again. Why The First Tee? What makes you different? What I will tell you is this … The First Tee is not a youth golf camp. It is not a summer program. It is not golf lessons for kids. The First Tee is designed around teaching youth the game of golf, as well as helping them understand and develop the nine core values the organization is based on. It’s a place where golf and life lessons are seamlessly incorporated into each experience. In addition to learning fundamentals of the golf swing and the game, participant experiences will translate into valuable life skills such as problem solving, managing time, controlling emotions, making friends, working well with others and improving relationships with family and community. We encourage our participants that have gotten “the bug” to attend camps, academies or take private lessons. The opportunities today are endless. They may participate in the Drive, Chip & Putt Championship, the PGA Junior League, Tin Whistles Junior Tour Series and many more just here in our backyard. Within our arsenal of volunteers, coaches and leaders includes PGA and LPGA members, certified instructors, club fitters and fitness experts. These resources are not only an asset for our curriculum program delivery but for our participants that want to develop their golf abilities outside of their weekly visit to The First Tee of the Sandhills. With that kind of guidance, one of the participants may grow to be the next Rickie Fowler or Paula Creamer … or better yet, the next Bob Burwell, one of the most active volunteers with our local chapter. Here’s to a summer of success, both on and off course. Courtney Stiles is the executive director of The First Tee of the Sandhills. Contact her at [email protected].

I am the proud mother of a six year old daughter and two year old son. If my grandmother and grandma were physically here today the chatter at our table would sound a lot different than our last years together. They would be filling my coffee cup with “now you gotta…”, “you know you can’t let her…”, “I don’t know about that, Courtney…”, “He’s gonna be a handful….” and “Yea is not a word, it is yes ma’am!” Conversations I never had the opportunity to enjoy with my grandparents. Though, because of my experiences growing up, recollections have allowed me to interpret what their opinion and commentary would have included. Many days I find myself reminiscing about those experiences. From the summer chore of filling the five gallon buckets with pine cones before dad got home from work, watermelon seed spitting contest with my uncles and cousins, raking the leaves at my grandparents’ house, getting up at five a.m. to put the boat in the lake and fish, and infamous ‘lock ins’ with our church youth group. Then, there was the day my granddaddy told my mom he had signed me up and pre-paid for me to take a karate class. No outs. No excuses. I will never forget my granddaddy’s reasoning for taking those karate classes. He wanted his granddaughter to learn self-defense, how to follow the guidance and rules of others and discipline. A simple goal and small investment in his granddaughter’s upbringing. Had the prospect to work with The First Tee come early in my career, my appreciation for the mission and opportunity it carries in communities would not have resonated. Why? I didn’t have mommy brain, yet! On Mother’s Day weekend 2008 my husband and I were surprised to find out we were pregnant. But, even more surprised to receive the call were the future grandparents! In that moment my perspective changed. Fast forward 20 months later and we are the privileged parents of a one year old daughter, Palmer, who was walking, talking and happily throwing balls for the dogs to retrieve. My quiet time was spent trying to figure out what experiences we could provide this quickly growing, ever evolving blue eyed baby. Again, my perspective had changed. As our family grew in age and size so did my awareness of the unbalanced teeter tooter between struggles and opportunities that youth are beginning to face at a very young age. A problem that was not nearly as exaggerated during my childhood. Happily I am not alone. Every MOM or adult that has filled the role of mom has an innate desire to provide children with the best opportunities, skills and mentors. In my first ninety days at The First Tee of the Sandhills, I have learned that the moms in our programs are extra special. They are the grandmother’s fighting the carpool line to get their grandkids to programs on time, the retired teachers volunteering their time as leaders to help encourage and guide the next generation, the full time working mothers, sisters and aunts making adjustments in their work week to carve out 90 minutes for a special child in their life. The analogies go on but the stories only get better and better. These moms have all experienced what I have. The change in perspective. Together, we are looking for life experiences that the next generation can latch onto in a positive environment. Together, we are trying to balance out the wobbly teeter tooter that is in front of our future leaders and decision makers. Together, we are positively impacting the lives of young people. On this and every Mother’s Day I am thankful for the past, present and future moms. The moms who volunteer at The First Tee of the Sandhills, the moms who sign their children up for our programs and the moms who arrive early and stay late to make sure participants have the best experience possible. To you, Happy Mother’s Day!

Upon reporting to the PGA TOUR on January 3, 2007 I was one of hundreds of employees. Though my job was just as important as the employee in the cubicle next to me, it was a very specific job with very specific task and guidelines. That is, with exception of THE PLAYERS Championship week (our home game) when you were willing to help wherever needed. Fast forward 100 months to The First Tee of the Sandhills, where I stand today. We are operating a nonprofit business that outreaches to thousands of youth ages 5 to 17 annually with a full time staff of two and part time network of 88 volunteers. Here, I have the opportunity to dip into every single area of the business. My job description is specific, clean and simple. It’s to meet the mission. To positively impact the lives of young people by providing structured educational programs that build character, instill life-enhancing values and promote healthy choices through the game of golf. Yet, the task that go into fulfilling this job description are numerous. At the end of the day, the most gratifying moment you can have is escaping the office for 90 minutes and helping to teach and execute one of our weekly curriculum plans. During these moments you may think you are making an impact on the youth but in reality they are making an impact on you! At the end of class I always like to pose the question, which game today was your favorite? Which game was the hardest? Almost like clockwork, their answer to these two questions is always the same. When successful, we are able to make hard games fun. To teach the participants that overcoming challenges feels good and can be accomplished. One of our crowd favorite games is tic-tac-toe golf. Imagine a tic-tac-toe board of any size placed on a putting green, a chipping surface or down the driving range. Grab a friend and play tic-tac-toe as if you were using paper and pencil, but instead to mark your X down you must be the first person to successfully stop the ball in that square. The rules are simple. You only get one attempt per turn, first person to get three in a row wins and you always shake hands to congratulate your opponent. Grab some string, a few golf tees and set up a board in your yard, at the park or the golf course. Start with a large board and begin making it smaller and smaller. I promise that this game will help improve your distance control, direction and strategy. Who knew practicing could be both beneficial and fun! Many participants do not have the opportunity to play the golf version of tic-tac-toe outside of their time at The First Tee. Instead we show them that if they have concrete, a piece of chalk and any type of ball or bean bag they can create a board and play by tossing or kicking an object. They are still learning distance and direction while playing a game with a sibling, neighbor or friend. I encourage you to try your hand at tic-tac-toe and see how it positively affects your golf game, mindset and relationship with your opponent. These moments of interaction with our participants brings me back to the roots our mission, allows the creative juices to begin flowing, re-energizes and is a friendly reminder that our mission comes first.

I believe that a handshake is an unspoken gesture that speaks volumes about an individual. As a businesswoman, when I am given the opportunity to shake someone’s hand the strength of their handshake and level of eye contact sets the tone for my initial opinion of that person.

A quick, weak handshake with brief eye contact immediately raises the bar for the level of professionalism, experience and expertise I will seek out in other aspects of their performance. Though, a strong handshake with confident eye contact creates an immediate image of strength, professionalism and belief in oneself.

Sadly, I encounter more weak handshakes over the course of a week than the later. It’s both surprising and disappointing to see this as the culture I grew up in dictated that the handshake was a vital component of communication in all walks of life.

In the late ‘80s as a golf loving girl of eight years old I was a minority. Most golf camps didn’t start until age 10 and would typically only have boys register to attend. Many adults didn’t want to play in a group with a girl of my age and many of the tee time holders assumed that I was just ‘along for the ride’ to watch my dad play golf.

What started to set me apart and change their image was my demeanor and ability to ‘quick draw’ my hand out for an introduction or thank you to fellow golfers, club professionals and tee time holders.

The positive impression I left on these individuals shifted their assumptions and camps began to make an exception for my age and let me participate, the seniors group that played every morning all summer long began quarreling over who wanted me in their group and I was no longer ‘along for the ride’.

All deriving from a simple handshake, eye contact, smile and thank you.

In my era of junior golf, the tournament officials and camp counselors did a fantastic job of encouraging participants to shake hands amongst themselves, to thank the volunteers, to seek out the head pro and say thank you for letting us play their facility.

They even would take it a step farther and require us to give a speech at the end of the tournament no matter if we were holding the 3^rd place trophy or crowned champion.

This concept kept me up at night before the final round. It didn’t matter if I was ten strokes back or winning by ten, my brain was racing to practice how I would deliver my speech the following day.

The initial mandatory behavior defined by my parents and grandparents while at a golf facility mixed with the guidelines set by my our junior golf mentors helped shape my ability to present myself in a positive light both on and off a golf course. The smile I would gain from the adult on the receiving end was enough encouragement to keep shaking hands, keep saying thank you and keep playing.

Today, The First Tee has incorporated handshakes and introductions into their weekly curriculum plan for all five levels of programming. This not only shows the importance of delivery but helps pull shy insecure participants out of their shell, creates a bridge for communication between individuals of all ages and backgrounds and sets the tone in showing respect for others.

Parents, volunteers and spectators have commented that they can point out a participant of The First Tee from a crowd of young adults just by watching their demeanor and ability to communicate with another individuals.

Consider this. Do you feel that young people today are doing a good job at introducing themselves to adults and advisors? Do you want them to be good?

My answer is yes. It’s our intent at The First Tee of the Sandhills to create a culture for participants to learn these behaviors and be empowered to use them outside of their visit to us on a weekly basis. Remember, the best way for a child to learn is from seeing adults do it first!

So what’s your take?

What’s in a hat?

As the analogy goes, I wear many hats. Between the hours of 6:00pm and 7:30am it is typically those of wife, mother, caregiver, supporter, best friend and confidant but from about 7:31am until the door slams behind my squealing kids entrance to our home, my hat switches to that of executive director, organizer, corralar, influencer, advocate, coach, mentor and volunteer.

About six years ago my husband was willingly wearing the hat of confidant as I poured out my dreams for future endeavors to him. The reoccurring theme was that I hoped one day we would be in situation where I could give of my time as a volunteer. Spending Monday’s working with one organization, Tuesday’s at another and so forth. But not just a volunteer, one that could make a difference in someone else’s life. I couldn’t even envision the opportunity for my family to afford the volunteer role in our schedule while still adhering to the hustle and bustle and responsibilities in front of us on a weekly basis coming anytime soon and at least not before our children were off to college.

Soon after that conversation shifts in our work careers began taking place. Unbeknown to us, pieces of a puzzle were being assembled. Today that puzzle is almost complete and has led to The First Tee of the Sandhills. A place where I get to spend my days planning and supporting the generosity of volunteers as we work with youth in our community on a weekly basis. Working with them to become better citizens through experiences on and off the golf course that utilize The First Tee’s Nine Core Values, character development, goal setting and so much more.

Daily I am privileged to wear the hats of an advocate, coach, mentor and volunteer.  A wish of mine that has been afforded to me many years in advance of when I thought was possible. But, to help to complete this puzzle I need more advocates…coaches…mentors… and volunteers. Individuals that believe in the outcome, that are eager to support the mission and that have a passion for youth.

Currently, The First Tee of the Sandhills has stretched the capacities of our committed volunteers to the limit and the knocks on the door from youth, families and other organizations are only growing. We want to be able to answer those knocks. To be able to say YES. To be able to invest in our communities and give back in an impactful way.

We need you! Currently we are in the midst of spring programs and are actively seeking interested individuals to begin working with, preparing and training to get involved this summer and beyond. As you can see, our volunteers can wear all different hats and come in various shapes and sizes. No volunteer must wear the hat of a golfer but they all must wear a smile, a passion for youth growth and carry words of encouragement.  So, I ask you, which hat would you like to try on for size?

We encourage those interested in learning more about our volunteer opportunities to reach out and schedule a time to stop by our office or attend a program and observe our current volunteers in action. 

My hope is that as you are reading this I’m snuggled away in my bed catching a few zzzz’s. Over the last six days Jamie Martin, our Program Director and I attended The First Tee Network Meetings in Dallas, Texas. The shuttle dropped me off at my door step about 2:00am this morning! These meetings occur once every two years and are open to The First Tee Chapter employees, Board Members and additional select individuals. In fact ‘open’ is used quite loosely as it is a requirement that we budget the time and expenses to attend. Jennifer Nguyen, a Board Member and Proud Participant Parent also attended the conference on behalf of our chapter where she participated in three days of seminar and classroom style advanced learning. I chose to share last week’s experience for two reasons. First, we are VERY PROUD to say that one of our own, Elizabeth Nguyen was selected to attend the Outstanding Participant Leadership Summit, taking place in conjunction with our Network Meetings. Lizzy, a sophomore at Pinecrest Highschool was one of twenty eight participants selected from The First Tee network, which consists of 175 Chapters nationwide. TWENTY EIGHT, that’s outstanding! Lizzy participated in a three day interactive educational event that helps inspire, educate and grow the participant into a leader at our chapter, school and community. Not only was Lizzy selected to attend this year’s event but she was also asked to speak during our lunch session on Thursday to a room of 800 Directors, Board Members, Coaches and advocates of The First Tee. For five minutes Lizzy controlled the room, speaking on ‘The impact The First Tee has had on her life and how the lessons learned from The First Tee have transferred to her life off the golf course’, and boy was it powerful. The word allotment I was given is just not big enough to tell her full story! Finally, the theme of the network meeting for chapter staff and leaders was “Building Momentum”. For The First Tee of the Sandhills BUILDING + MOMENTUM are words we will associate with our chapter this year and for many years to come. It’s almost as if they read our minds because locally we are doing just that. We are BUILDING a concrete foundation that is as strong as a boulder but as smooth as the greens on Pinehurst #2 during the US Open. Then we are releasing MOMENTUM through marketing, drive, awareness, outreach, enthusiasm and planning of our board, staff, volunteers, donors and proud parents. A quote I heard this week hit home, “When you’re going to build a house that has to go up, what do you do first? Dig a hole DOWN!” So, in true Texas spirit, strap on your boots, get your shovel and let’s dig our Foundation as deep and wide as we can! Because we are going to dig our way through our service area footprint until there is nowhere else to go. And when that day comes we will have positively impacted the lives of more young people than our dreams ever thought were possible. Now, who’s in?